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Transforming Conflict

Increasing authenticity in conflict processes

These are some of the things that are tricky to navigate in conflict processes. You can listen to a longer form audio version of this post here.

· Inauthenticity – Reflecting back which doesn’t actually lead to you feeling heard (unless we spend enough time with the discomfort to experience a shift)

· Conflating listening with agreement – holding space for someone’s experience (ie empathic listening) doesn’t mean you agree with what they say.

· Binary paradigms – We are trying to hold space for the complexity of both your lived experiences and not make any of it wrong because when we enter into the right/wrong paradigm, shame increases and dialogue becomes less effective

· Finding ‘enoughness’ in truth and connection – We need to find a way to express ourselves so it’s not immediately controversial for the other person (otherwise, shut down/reactivity) AND we want to express our full truth and not hold back from what is true for us (otherwise, resentment/ anger afterwards)