Building Restorative Systems

8 week series – online

Conflict is an inevitable part of life.

Just thinking about it can send your heart rate soaring, create tension throughout your body, and hijack your ability to think calmly and logically… But what if you could transform that energy into something life-enriching?

That’s what you’ll learn in this eye-opening course with the Conflict Transformation Weave of NVC UK network.

For the past three years, these trainers have been pursuing a joint dream: that every NVC community has embedded within it a restorative approach to responding to conflict. Their offerings have attracted interest from around the world, and they’re now deeply excited to be able to offer their approach to you.

During this course, you’ll learn about the importance of system building, including:

  • The set-up and maintenance of a system
  • How to harness the buy-in and energy of key people in a community
  • Developing a mindset that embraces conflict

You will also practice skills needed to:

  • Set up, support, and facilitate dialogue, mediations, and restorative circles
  • Stay grounded and calm in the presence of intense pain and hurt, anger, and   disappointment
  • Guide people towards making agreements that will help restore broken relationships and much more.

If you’re intrigued by the thought of feeling confident when facing any kind of conflict – if you’d love to see a working restorative system that belongs to your community – or if you’d enjoy owning the skills you’d need to set up and implement a restorative system for your community, please join the CTW for this richly transformational series.

 

We invite financial contributions of £75-£400 for the series. We will contact you with ways of doing this once you have registered.

Please Register Here

 

Conflict Surgery – Every 1st Tuesday of the month

There is a Dual Purpose of  the Conflict Surgery

1.To provide ‘triage’/initial support for any conflict/complaint that arises during an event listed on the NVC UK website.

You are welcome to ask for support if you:

  • have been a participant in an event and have a complaint or are dissatisfied in some way with what happened (please first check out the conflict agreement of the event if they have one)
  • are the trainer/facilitator/organiser of an event that has stimulated or has been the context for some conflict or  complaint

We will discuss the complaint/conflict and see what next steps are possible. This is Stage 2 in the Conflict process.

To make this conflict support  a sustainable and co-responsible initiative, it is important that everyone who lists an event on NVC-UK has in place an agreement for responding to conflict that is appropriate to the event listed.

If you need help with that, this is the second purpose of the Conflict Surgery ….

2. To provide support to any NVC group, event or trainer in the UK to build their own agreements and processes around conflict.

In addition to this support, we strongly suggest you and your teams attend our 8 week conflict resilience training, Building Restorative Systems 

 

 

 

If either Point 1 or Point 2 seem like what you need just now then you are welcome to attend the Conflict Surgery.

 

What to do if you want to come

Note that the conflict surgery runs every 1st Tuesday of the month, 7pm – 8.30pm UK time, and it will be held on Zoom. 

Email info@ctw-uk.org and state whether you need:

1) Initial support for a conflict, or

2) Support creating your conflict agreements in your group/practice.

We will then send you a zoom link.

Knowing the nature of your request  will help us try to provide support for everyone.

Depending on the number of people seeking support, we will use breakout rooms and several conflict supporters if necessary.

The conflict surgery is free at point of use. We are exploring ways of funding our work for the ongoing sustainability of this support.

Community Conversation: NVC and Ending Racism

An exploration of our experiences within the NVC network and beyond, and how we can respond to and end racism

Friday 3rd July 7-9pm UK time 

Context

In recent weeks, we have been moved to anger and to tears, as we are sure you have, witnessing and learning about police brutality in the US against George Floyd, Breanna Taylor, Tony McDade, Philando Castile and also remembering Mark Duggan, Cherry Groce, Smiley Culture and Stephen Lawrence who have been victims of police and systemic violence, as well as other BAME deaths stemming from systemic racism in the UK.

Statues of beneficiaries of the slave trade have been toppled and are coming down. There is an air of change. Anti-racist books have sold out in the UK, there is a campaign gathering momentum to finally include black history in the National Curriculum and white celebrities with huge social media following are ‘sharing the mic’ with black writers and counterparts. (See Brene Brown’s episode with Austin Channing Brown, author of I’m still here: Black dignity in a world made for whiteness.

We have been inspired by organisations and brands who have been putting out communications saying things like ‘We are taking some time to educate ourselves about racial inequality’. 

It feels honest, sensible and hopeful to acknowledge that we haven’t been doing enough to address racism and to dedicate time and resources to exploring this.

We have very humbly learnt in our conflict work in the Conflict Transformation Weave over the past few years that it’s very often the case that understanding structural inequality is relevant to the full understanding of a seemingly interpersonal conflict. We have suggested and continue to suggest that NVC practitioners need ongoing learning around power and privilege, trauma-informed practice, and boundaries and consent. 

As part of our Conflict Transformation work, we are offering this Community Conversation: NVC and Ending Racism 

 

Further details about the Community Conversation

The intention of this Conversation is to be present with what is and to hear what’s alive in people in the NVC UK network in relation to racism and responding to it.  If you are unsure what we mean when we say the NVC UK Network, let us simply say, if you have been inspired by NVC, you seek to utilise it and live its principles in your life,  and you live or work in the UK then you are part of this community. 

You are invited. 

You are essential to NVC becoming a peace-spreading and equity-seeking consciousness in the months and years ahead.

 

Overview of the Evening: 

Part 1 Introduction and Opening Reflections

There will be space for 3-4 people from within NVC UK who want the space to share their experiences, feelings and thoughts around either of the following questions. 

  • We live in a context where structural racism operates and it will impact on us differently. 

  • How has it impacted you?
  • How can you respond to discrimination and structural racism within NVC communities and beyond?

 

Each person will speak for 7 mins. The purpose of these opening reflections is to sharpen the focus and to have input from beyond our own personal experiences. 

Would you enjoy having  this space to share your experiences or perspective? 

Please let us know or ask for more information if necessary. When we know how many people are interested in this, we’ll finalise the format. 

Part 2 Sharing space  

We will move into small group discussion spaces to reflect on what’s been already said, or to respond to any of the questions directly ourselves.

Part 3 Plenary

We will reconvene and hear from each of the groups two things that stood out from discussion. These we will collate and hold as an outcome from the discussion.

Recording

We will record the ‘whole group’ parts of the event. The break-out room discussions will not be recorded. The recording will be available shortly after the event.

 

Care / Safeguarding

We are aware that a large part of the issue in relation to NVC and racism is the predominance of white-majority spaces. In the CTW we know we have blindspots in relation to our own whiteness and race. We are working on educating ourselves and making choices that include people of colour without resorting to tokenism.

We are mindful that the lived experience of racism is so painful and we do not want this event to stimulate pain for any person of colour who wants to attend. 

We are aware that many consciousness raising initiatives around race are held in spaces that people of colour and white people can access separately, in order to decrease the possibility of ongoing stimulation for people of colour, and giving white people a space to express confusion, ignorance, and not getting it.

Some of us have had powerful healing and learning experiences in such spaces, and that could be an option for the future. We are mindful of the need for agency in determining how events are set up and to avoid white people deciding what’s needed in relation to responding to racism. For now, please get in touch with us if you have any feedback on how we are proceeding.

Recommended reading and viewing before the event

We highly recommend reading Roxy Manning’s recent article – How can NVC be helpful in these transformative times?

And watching Roxy’s  Interview (45 Mins) with Shift Network- How can white people help

 

Overview of video if you can’t access it as it is on Facebook.

Roxy covers what white people need to know when engaging in discussions around race. She mentions the energy of white people expecting to be educated by black people and how this is yet another way black bodies are used. She speaks about the labour it takes when white people present blindspots, microaggressions and lack of education on a topic related to race.

She talks about how painful it is that only now, when faced with the undeniable evidence of George Floyd being killed on our screens, are white people mobilising in greater numbers. She also mentions the pain of white people still stepping forward and it being about our education: it’s not in the spirit of support.

Roxy’s message to well intentioned white people is to educate ourselves about systemic racism and how we participate in it, to go to white allies if we are stuck, then come, as a source of support to black people, saying  ‘how can I support you?’ rather than ‘Can you meet my needs for learning’.

Roxy’s message to black people is to connect to needs and take action to meet them. 

She urges white folks to check our intention when intervening in discussions around race, to take care and she notices how white voices traditionally get amplified. She recommends finding a black voice that is saying things you enjoy and reposting it (on social media)

And then if you stumble and make comments that are harmful, and we all will, take the steps to do the work of listening and repair.

For People of Colour, please check out POC for NVC initiatives and regular community calls  for People of Colour who practice and engage with NVC

Click here to sign up to CTW mailing list

Click here to sign up to Community Conversation: NVC and Ending Racism in the UK